Lemon Squeezer and the Likely Ladd* look at the behaviour and dress sense of some of the usual suspects found at the bar on a Friday nights, commemorating the end of another week of work.
LL : What a crazy Friday night Likely Ladd.
LS : Sure were a lot of frustrated souls venting their week’s frustrations tonight.
LL : Pretty easy to tell what most of them do for a living by the way they dress and behave is it not?
LS : Sure is. The real demanding guy wearing the suit type trousers and shoes with the colourful shirt, what do you think he does for a living?
LL : Oh, I’d bet my bottom dollar he was an architect so deep inside the square they don’t see the sides and so delusional with themselves they truly believe they are free thinkers. They are totally oblivious that they are all exactly the same in their dress, manners and, the best bit, thinking. They are experts in absolutely everything, whether it is design, parenting or being a philatelist.
LS : His name was Phil, and he was late for what?
LL : Stamp collecting, Lemon Squeezer. I was just trying to say their most identifying quality is
their willingness to think they know everything about absolutely everything.
LS : Oh, like the group in the bluestripped suits looking like an ad for their local tailor, they would’ve been lawyers for certain.
LL : Working long hours chasing the dollar, they get to spend a few sad hours on a Friday night drinking and talking down to everyone that serves them, yet secretly you feel they are resentful of their servers’ apparent free and non conforming lifestyle.
LS : I always tell the young staff, don’t let it upset you, your revenge is having a better quality of life than they do. You’ll be hanging out with friends on Monday when they’re back in their office waiting for Friday to come around again.
LS : The group of all badly dressed guys down the other end of the room staring at every female that went past all night but with nothing to say for themselves, what would they have done for a crust?
LL: They were without a doubt from the construction industry. You know the type of guys, they all did really badly at school which is the reason they ended up working the jobs they do. Let’s face it, who in their right mind would choose to work in construction?
LS : Their ears are closed to any form of real conversation, as they just never have and never will like to be told anything by anyone.
LL : Well let’s face it; a building site can’t be the most pleasant of working environments-noisy, dirty and the same day in and day out.
LS : It seems to me that their penis size is judged by the amount of poor quality beverages they can
consume, and their evening is spent drinking and recalling stories of the previous evening’s penis enhancing drinking exploits.
LL : Sad isn’t it, living in the past is what one group is doing and living for the future is what the other group is doing, what purpose do any of us have in life? A life not lived is a life wasted as the saying goes.
LS : Or as my old friend Ray used to say “it ain’t a dress rehearsal so you better make the most of it”.
LL : What is our purpose in life? To balance the books? Get that paper in on time? When you get to the end of your journey what difference will you have made?
LS : I’m not too sure I understand what you’re saying Likely Ladd but I do know my purpose right now is to get cleaned up and have a drink before the cleaner get’s here.
* Lemon Squeezer is a London bartender who has lived in Australia for 12 years bartending, and Likely Ladd is a brand ambassador based in the southern capital. Names have been changed.

Commentaires